Some of my most traumatic television moments came from The Bionic Woman of all places! Mind you, I haven't seen that show in several decades, so in writing this I'm relying on my terrified child's memory. Obviously the worst for me were "the Fembots". If you recall, they were female androids that took on the appearance of ordinary women, often posing as someone else. Whenever it was revealed they were a "fembot" their face was torn off to reveal the metal circuitry under the skin. But they still had eyes! Look at this shit!!!
If you remember the "large Marge" scene in "Pee Wee's Big Adventure", the reveal of the fembots played out something like that! Looking at this psychologically, this probably explains why I sometimes feel very suspicious about other women. Hmm...interesting. There was also an episode where the Bionic Woman fought Bigfoot (this may have been a cross-over with The Six Million Dollar Man.) To this day I am still freaked out by the idea of the Sasquatch and am convinced they probably do exist. (Although, in retrospect, I think that bigfoot was being controlled by a dude in a leisure suit with an afro...)There was another episode of a show, and now I can't remember if it was The Bionic Woman or possibly Nancy Drew/The Hardy Boys (more likely the latter) but it dealt with a haunting and a cave that had Native Indian carvings. When they showed the cave drawings it was dark, there was a flickering fire and there was low, incessant Native chanting going on. I think it was to do with ghosts -- and I remember them cutting to a woman in bed being woken up and this chanting is going on. Obviously that freaked me out too -- so much that I don't remember anything else about it or even what show it was. For all I know it could've been the Bigfoot episode too.
Related to the terrors of The Bionic Woman, my brother used to torment me about the "Venus space probe" on The Six Million Dollar Man. A recurring "enemy" on that show, basically "the probe" was a Russian built space craft that landed in America. It was designed to destroy anything that got in it's way, so naturally only Steve Austin could fight it. Just to pick on me, my brother would chase me around pretending to be the deadly "Venus space probe", saying "the probe! the probe!" in a robotic voice while making a repetitive snapping hand gesture -- really just an excuse to scare the crap out of me & start a wrestling match. Really, I don't think the "Venus space probe" on tv was all that frightening, it was just what my brother turned it into that bothered me!
Another time I recall walking into the room as my parents were watching "Salem's Lot" and accidentally seeing this guy sitting in a dark room slowly rocking in a creaky rocking chair:
AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
(Note to self: delete this mo-fo off my hard drive as soon as I post this!)
Being the kind of nut that I am, I'd love to re-watch some of these past tv horrors now. For one thing it would clarify my memory about them. Another reason would be to "exorcise" some of my childhood demons because this cheesy 70s stuff probably seems pretty tame now.
So go on -- Share your childhood horrors... if you dare!
